The Burden In My Life

The Burden In My Life

This crazy drive to be perfect is a burden on my life. There is no doubt that it dooms me to a certain amount of unhappiness. At first, I must have thought that if I try to be perfect it would be desirable,  but let’s take a deeper look at that belief:

*Perfection suggests a state of flawlessness, without any defects. Seeking perfection at any particular task might be achievable, and certainly, students can strive to attain a perfect grade, or you can try to accomplish a perfect job at something. Yet, the goal of being perfect in life is altogether a different story – I know this to be true!

*A machine or electronic device may operate perfectly; at least we can hope so for at least a while. But if you look at the facts, humans were never intended to be perfect. Think about the expression, “I’m just human.” – now I know you are laughing!  We need to remind ourselves that the goal isn’t to emulate a machine, but to embrace the imperfection of being human – now I am sure you are you getting it!

In a success minded society, we move relentlessly. We are focused on success and goal achievement. The problem is that we lose sight of the journey and seem to lose the importance of taking time to smell the roses. Could you imagine looking at a magnificent rainbow and complaining that one of the colors wasn’t perfect? That would absolutely crazy, would also be ruining the magnificence of the moment.  Truthfully, that is exactly what we do when we judge ourselves for what we consider imperfect. We forget that as humans we are part of nature, so it makes sense that we could and should embrace being part of the natural state of life, which is literally imperfection!

Far too many people have an unrealistic and unhealthy drive or demand on themselves to be perfect.  I’ll let you in on a little secret – the pursuit of perfection is really a disguise for an insecurity.  You may not even realize you have one, but if you ever feel like  “I’m not good enough”.  This alone is a clear indicator that we have judged ourselves.

Are you able to imagine the impossible… ??  What if someone could achieve this impossible state of perfection?   I think that people wouldn’t even be able to tolerate him or her!!   A perfect individual??  They would be a constant reminder to all others of their shortcomings – not to mention that they probably wouldn’t be much fun to be with! 

Most likely, we are striving to compensate for a sense of inadequacy. People who want to be perfect usually have an exaggerated sense of their own shortcomings. Those of us that fit that mold, typically received messages earlier in life that we weren’t good enough. We are acutely sensitive to the judgments of others.. and interestingly enough, these judgments are most often imagined.  

Logically I understand that perfection is in being present; but yet I myself as a perfectionist am never present – because the closest thing to perfection is in the ability to be fully present and without any distracting thoughts measuring or grading myself. It’s in that moment that I’m free to really be “in the moment”.   

The pursuit of perfection literally robs each us of the vitality of life. It is unachievable, unimaginable, and truthfully undesirable, so why pursue it? I personally will move forward just doing my best and being the best version of me with the commitment to be an even better version of me tomorrow.

 

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